Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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