i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
This is my gift to your gina
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
