I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
