eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
His hands were made for my vagina.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
