I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
