I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
