What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
