Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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