you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
