I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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