I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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