I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
