dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
