So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
