Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
