You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
