shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
