that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The air was thick with penises
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
