from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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