shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
