If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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