Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
