thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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