Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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