I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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