dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
