Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
