It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
