You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
