his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
