My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
