I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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