I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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