Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
