Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
