Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
