Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Everything about him screamed your future.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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