so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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