Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
