escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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