New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
