I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
420 ftw
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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