Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
