he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
