Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
