Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I supernannyed him into submission
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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