hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
