its not stalking. its research.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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