he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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