i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
